I thought in honor of cesarean awareness month I would for the first time ever write the birth story of my oldest daughter. She is almost 13! I never wrote her birth story down because for so long I felt ashamed. I wanted to birth "natural" I was naive and thought that all I had to do was show up in labor and soon after a baby was there. I had no idea what a giant web of medical procedures I was walking into. My daughter was diagnosed as breech around 36 weeks; I was told at the time that she was "big" at least already 7 or 8 pounds. I was told it was unlikely she would turn. I was lost; I thought I had no alternatives. External version was never mentioned, smoking the toe, chiropractic procedures, or just simply birthing breech none of those options were ever presented to me. Actually now that I think about it I never even saw an ultrasound that showed me she was breech. How do I know that the day they pulled her out she wasn't head down! (But I guess that’s another blog, Betrayal hmmm.) So we waited I was told we had until 38 weeks and then it was time up, again I had no idea that I had the right to say no. Yes I did think on the day of the C-section to just not show up and see what happens, but I really didn't think I had any alternatives. So off we went. We arrived at the hospital on time, they prepped me for surgery had me sign a gazillion paper (none of which were explained) Wheeled me into the operating room made my husband stay behind while they stuck a huge needle in my back to numb me, forever leaving a dull pain when I get tired. Next thing I knew my husband was by my side I was covered from head to toe in blue cloth and the cutting had begun. A few minutes later they violently hung my seconds old daughter covered in blood over the cloth so I could sneak a peak of her. I was in love, but I was sad. I had carried her around for 9 months and had zero to do with her birth into this world! I was not the first one to greet her, not the first one to love her, not even the first one to change her, and to my utter disgust I later found out I was not the first one to FEED her, even though I said I was going to exclusively breastfeed no question! I was in pain, groggy, and dis attached. I loved my daughter very much and suffered through the pain of breastfeeding over a cesarean cut so I could somehow form a bound with this child I had been so close to just hours before. I was able by the grace of God to breastfeed and recovery went well. We did make a fantastic bond and we still have it today!! But the experience of my first birth left me feeling very dissatisfied and desperate for a better experience the next time around... Oh and by the way when she was born at 38 weeks, she was 8lbs. 13 oz. 19 1/2 inches long, I am 5' 8" and my second baby (born vaginaly) was 9 lbs. 9 oz. 21 3/4 inches long! She had plenty of room to turn around! So all that to say as part of my dedication as a doula I want to see woman educated about their right to informed consent, I want them to know that they do not have to take their OB's word for it. I want them to stand up for themselves and the creations on the inside of them. I want to see cesarean rates cut in half in the United States by the year 2020 and the only way that’s gonna happen is if all of us who know the truth about cesareans stand up and speak out!! A special Thank You to ICAN for equipping me with the ability to be a vbac3!!!
Jenny is a dedicated christian wife and mother. That is now pursuing her passion for everything birth!
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