To often women are told untruths about birth. Our minds are engraved with visions of torture or panic from media, other womens experiences, or dare I say it, the church... We are told that childbirth hurts, labor is awful and don't expect to ever have your lady parts be normal again! As a doula I spend the majority of my time with women debunking these myths. I have found that if you help a woman remove fear from childbirth she is left to experience the process with joy, which in turn provides an anxiety free perspective of birth. Most women I work with report feeling intense, or vulnerable but rarely do women tell me that was the most "painful" thing they have done. They may say that was the" hardest I have ever worked" or the "most powerful feelings I have ever felt". That being said, I know some of you reading this may think well that was them, my birth was awful and no one could tell me different. I would never try to talk you out of how you felt. You felt it, not me. My challenge would be if that was you, to look at what kind of information you had before you birthed, did you have a good support team, were you allowed to maintain informed consent through out the birth process? You could probably identify an area (that could have been different) in your experience that left you feeling regretful or fearful.
I never set moms up for failure by promising a perfect birth and its important to know I am not talking about your birth plan going exactly the way you planned and so that is why your birth is wonderful, most often birth does not go according to your plan. What I am referring to is being allowed to birth your baby and being the one to make the decision how that birth happens. Even if that means opting for a c-section. The process of birth doesn't have to be surrounded by fear, When a couple is given the ability to be fully informed and make decisions they feel are safest for them and their baby they may leave their birth feeling disappointed for not getting to do something or even everything on their birth plan, but they shouldn't have to carry regret or fear with them because they weren't prepared. If you are on your journey to having a birth following a traumatic or fearful birth experience, please don't just think this is your lot in life! Do your due diligence find a certified doula, a supportive care provider, read accurate information and most importantly resolve to be the one who takes responsibility for the decisions being made about you, and have a peaceful birth!
Jenny is a dedicated christian wife and mother. That is now pursuing her passion for everything birth!
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